Matthew McConaughey Has a Fiesta in His Pants

McConaughey pulls something.

Is Matt experimenting with new cheerleading moves? Did he forget his morning application of Preparation H? Has he resolved to make 2009 the year of the lunge!

Hmm... We just couldn't decide. So, we compiled our knowledge of the Matt man in order to draw some sort of conclusion as to what the hell is happening here.

Things we know about Matty M:
1. He likes to play bongos butt naked while hotboxing.
2. He knocks up attractive Brazilian models while on hiatus from movie shooting.
3. In order to craft the perfect surfer, he habitually shoves his boy Levi under water to "like totally get him used to the water dude!"
4. He routinely makes sexy faces and shakes his blonde mane in order to get 80-year-old grandmas hot and bothered.

Alright, this guy is clearly an anomaly. We may be creative masterminds, but even we can't explain these erratic gestures.

Just keep takin' off that tee Matt, just keep takin' off that tee.

Do you crave boring? Wanna read a more monotonous, unimaginative, lackluster take on this story?