13-Year-Old Boy Becomes Father - Hell to the No

Proud papa.

In news of the "UGH"...

Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, has new competition in the most upsetting pregnancy-related story of the year (yes, it's only February, but still). UK citizen, Alfie Patten, is the proud daddy of 7lb, 3oz baby girl named Maisie Roxanne. So? Alfie is only 13-years-old. *Record scratch*

Yes, this 4-foot tall barely teen and his 15-year-old girlfriend, Chantelle, made the decision to have their baby after becoming pregnant after their very first (and obviously unprotected) sexual encounter. I need 13 showers after writing that sentence, thank you very much.

Of the birth, Alfie says, "I thought it would be good to have a baby. I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me 10 pounds."

The sound you hear is me, screaming.

Right. But like any teen, he was worried about what his parents might think, adding, "When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react. I didn't know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it."

In a classic, made for Maury tale, Alfie (just 12 at the time) impregnated Chantelle, then helped her hide the pregnancy until her mom noticed her bump. The parents of these two baby-having babies came together to support the scenario, and are allowing the pair to have sleepovers as they struggle to raise their infant. Aflie's dad notes that the kid still seems completely confused by the situation, which makes total sense BECAUSE HE IS ONLY THIRTEEN. Dad says, "I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it's too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby."

Yes. A little too late.

For her part, new-mom Chantelle says, "I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums. I'll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad." Ok, darling, you do that.

What is happening. Is this the "Culture of Life" I hear so much about?