Charles Barkley Busted For BJ-Induced DUI

And hoped his ass would get him a free pass.

We gotta hand it to Charles Barkley. The dude has a big booty and a big mouth and he's not afraid to use either one.

The former NBA star apparently told the cops who arrested him on Wednesday morning - on suspicion of drunk driving - that the real reason he was speeding was because he was in a hurry. To get to a blow job.

Yep. Sir Charles said he was on his way to be serviced by a lady who was quite adept at servicing. The south-of-the-border bobbing he had received from this woman the week before was "the best one he had ever had in his life," and he was racing back for seconds.

Kudos to you, Mouthy Mistress?

Clearly not knowing when enough was enough - in more ways than one - Barkley also offered to tattoo one of the cop's names on his ass if it would get him out of the ticket.

This might work in prison, Chaz. But in Scottsdale - not so much.