Chocolate Allergies = Bits of Cockroach in Your Candy

You're Not Allergic, You're Just Eating Cockroach Innards

This is a good news/bad news thing: You know that chocolate allergy you think you have? Naaaah. You're not allergic to chocolate, most likely. You're probably just eating crunchy cockroach parts that are ground up into every batch of chocolate.

Don't you feel better?

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According to a report at ABC News, every chocolate bar contains an average of eight insect parts. More surprisingly: that is the amount the FDA considers safe!

"Most foods have natural contaminants in them, but there are levels which the FDA deems safe," allergist Dr. Morton M. Teich said. "Anything more than 60 insect pieces per 100 grams of chocolate is rejected by the FDA."

The trace amounts of buggy parts that are ground into food can trigger allergies and asthma attacks in some people, causing side effects like migraine headaches, cramps, itching and hives.

And lest you think chocolate is the only place those smooshed up buggers end up, think again; wheat, popcorn, fruit, macaroni, peanut butter and some cheeses are also contaminated.

Read: Rare Phobia Makes 19 year-old Girl Eat Nothing But Pizza

"Allergists are testing now because they’re finding that asthma can be caused by cockroaches,” Teich said. "I have patients whom we’ve tested for cockroach who really get reactions."

Teich also says simply switching chocolate brands won't help: the bugs contaminate cocoa beans, so it's in most chocolate.

"To avoid (insects in your food), it’s almost impossible," he said. "You probably would have to stop eating completely."

The takeaway we're getting from this story: since everything you eat has cockroaches in it, you might as well go ahead and enjoy that big chocolate bunny in your Easter basket this weekend. (Either that or you can run screaming from the room and never put a chocolate ANYTHING in your mouth again.)