Guy Fieri's Restaurant Gets Ripped in New York Times Review
New York Times Rates Guy Fieri Restaurant "Poor" in Hilarious Review
Just because you're a fancy schmancy Food Network star, doesn't mean your restaurant is exempt from poor reviews.
Look no further than Guy Fieri and the dreadful New York Times review of his Times Square restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen & Bar.
To say that the review of Fieri's restaurant was unkind would be an understatement.
Pete Wells, the New York Times' restaurant critic, lit into every facet of the establishment, picking apart most every menu item and all but ensuring that anyone reading the review will never be a patron there.
The restaurant may not be serving up culinary masterpieces, but the review offers up an impressive slaying of the establishment, firing off rapid-fire questions that ultimately boil it all down to the "POOR" rating.
Read the New York Times review for the full effect and check out some of the highlights below:
"Guy Fieri, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square? Have you pulled up one of the 500 seats at Guy's American Kitchen & Bar and ordered a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations?"
"When you saw the burger described as "Guy's Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche," did your mind touch the void for a minute?"
Later, Wells asks, "And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?"
"What exactly about a small salad with four or five miniature croutons makes Guy's Famous Big Bite Caesar (a) big (b) famous or (c) Guy's, in any meaningful sense?"
"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"
"When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads?"
"Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish?"
Alec Baldwin summed it up well on Twitter: "Tough day for @guyfieri"