Jessica Alba Depresses Us, Beauty-Wise
Get off the Machete red carpet.
Jessica Alba's been making some bold sartorial choices, ones that are hard to stomach if you don't like mullet dresses and flat hair. Sure, we gave her credit for her first Machete red carpet appearance, but it has been going downhill. Take a gander if you don't believe us!
Read: Jessica Alba style with ruffles
On that note, we present to you 4 Random Things That Are Bugging Us About Jessica Alba:
1. Her eyebrows. What is going on with them? They are super straight (not bad when it's natural, but here it looks forced), and they seem unruly without actually being so. Fail; she needs a new threader.
2. Her flat hair. Jessica was doing well in the hair department. Then she wore her hair down like it was a Wednesday night. She was actually in Venice, at the International Film Festival, and knew that there would be cameras around. Fail; she needs a new hair dryer.
Check out Jessica Alba photos of her looking hot at Machete premiere
3. Her love of the mullet dress. Thanks, Celebitchy, for pointing out Jessica Alba's unhealthy love of the "party in the back" dress. We can understand the urge to wear a frock that shows off your gams, but the train in the back doesn't make her look more demure. Just demented. Fail; she needs a new wardrobe.
4. Her use of eye brightener. The glow was good until it went bad! Alba's eye area has an almost alien glow, thanks to the use of eye brighteners and light-reflecting product. She needs something just a smidgen more matte. Fail; she needs a new makeup artist.
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To be fair, Jessica Alba could be out of practice with the international red carpet scene. Maybe she misses her kid or L.A., but one win in many fails does not a fashion & beauty icon make. Keep it in mind, Alba!


