Jessica Simpson is NOT Fat

Exhibit A: bad jeans, bodysuit, chain belt.

A picture is worth a thousand Internet trolls.

You should see some of the email the Editorial team gets at LimeLife. Some is funny (like ads for Snuggies or insane tooth whiteners), some are sad (self-help books for lonely divorcees), and some are just enraging. This falls into the latter category.

We received pictures of Jessica Simpson at some random chili cook-off yesterday, with the subject line: "Jessica Simpson sure packed on the pounds over the holidays!"

Ninja what?

A little investigation into the bowels of the Internet revealed message boards aflame with the news: J.Simp is now a porker. Mostly from dudes, mostly dudes - who from the look of their avatars/pictures - wouldn't be able to hook Jessica Tandy, let alone Jessica Simpson.

Exhibit B: rear-view.

But I'm not saying Jess isn't looking a little thicker here. She's Southern, she's built like what-what, and that's how she's going to look when she's not trying to pour herself into Daisy Dukes. Those high-waisted jeans and the ill-advised bodysuit/belt combo are doing nothing for her, though.

Now, if someone could do something about her singing, we'd appreciate it. The best creative thing that's ever come out of the Simpson family is the song based on Poppa Joe by Arcade Fire.