John Mayer and Kristin Cavallari's Coupledom a Ruse

Courtesy of SplashNews.com

What?! They Are Not Together

John Mayer and Kristin Cavallari were rumored to be dating, but it sounds like the rumor machine was working overtime! John Mayer did an appalling job of of debunking Kristin rumors recently, but at least he's a credible source of denial. Have a look at what Mayer said...

"Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman...I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari [sic] with my pe*s. I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together. My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli. I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James," Mayer wrote.

Ooooh my. We're surprised he didn't write "GOT THAT?" in all caps afterwards, because that kind of a denial is so in-depth that it could be considered almost suspect. Almost.

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