Michael Phelps Won't Face Charges for Pot Scandal

Stayin' out of the pokey.

BongGate spares its ultimate victim.

We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It seems Michael Phelps will not be charged in connection with BongGate. South Carolina authorities have said they will not arrest the Olympic champ for his herbal transgressions.

Though eight people have been arrested in connection with the events of that haze-filled evening, Phelps will remain a free man. Good news for the Olympian, the people of South Carolina (who were having their state's good named tarnished by a few over-eager law enforcement officers), and all us global citizens.

Because injustice against one 23-year-old stoner, is injustice against all of us. Or something. It sounded brilliant after a bag full of Cheetos.