Mickey Rourke Macks on Evan Rachel Wood? Gag!

This is so not happening. Look at his tie!

This is so not ok.

We can't even imagine anyone enjoying the sweet, lovin' embrace of Mickey "I'm super scuzzy" Rourke. Is he a tremendous actor? Yes, clearly. Does he enjoy a bit of a bad boy image? Yes... er... a bad old dude image for sure. But do we really think that he's got a little somethin' somethin' going on the side with 21-year-old Evan Rachel Wood?

Hell to the no.

How did this rumor even get started? It turns out that both Wrestler actors attended the Grey Goose SAG Awards afterparty together, and someone is claiming that Rourke planted one on Wood on the way to an afterparty at the Four Seasons later that night. Someone better get their facts straight, because this pairing might just give me brain damage.

Evan, sweetie, you are far too awesome to go here.

True, Evan seems to have questionable taste in men. She did ensnare faux-goth rock poseur, Marilyn Manson, near the end of his marriage to pin-up beauty, Dita Von Teese. But that ended. That was her bad boy phase - you don't get two honey! While Manson was grody enough, he seemed to put a lot of time and effort into his grooming. Rourke puts his hand down his pants whilst talking to ladies, and seems to be as allergic to ironing as he is prone to indulging in... substances.

In any event, I'm going to wash my brain clear of any visuals of the father/daughter combo from The Wrestler hooking up.