Patrick Swayze Is No Beastmaster - Celeb Shock Exchange

Just keep smiling, buddy.

Another week on the Celeb Shock Exchange...

Face it: celebrity is currency now. But not all stars stay valuable for very long, and some never even rise high enough to blip our radar. Each week, we'll bring you the stars that are rising, falling, and those who just need to be de-listed all together.

HOT CELEB STOCK
Anna Wintour. She's being remarkably human - wearing jeans, saying nice things about other people - the recession is clearly doing good things to the infamous witch. Or maybe this is just a campaign to keep her job. Either way, we like the uptick in the sweetness, Anna W!

FALLING IN VALUE
Kate Winslet. Yes, we love her. She is a delightful actress, beautiful as hell, but the awards mania compounded by her sheer happiness with the world is a little nauseating. Coming out and saying that you can't tell Leo from your husband just made it all the worse, Kate. We hope you win your Oscar and then take a much needed holiday (or make more movies). Jeff adds that he saw her on Inside the Actors Studio and (direct quote) "She makes me SICK."

DE-LIST THIS JERK
Patrick Swayze. Don't get me wrong, I would like this man to be healthy. Hell, I would love for him to come back strong and do a Roadhouse remake directed by John Woo, featuring at least four hours of explosions and a scene where he fights three alligators while riding on a bigger alligator, but for the love of jeebus, I cannot take one more commercial for The Beast. The Beast is an awful show. It is awful and he is everywhere, all up in your grill, trying to convince you otherwise. Please go away, Patrick Swayze. Go recover, make me another Roadhouse, and then we can be friends. Until you give up all illusions that you're some kind of jenky, inspirational author, goodbye to you!