Russian Miss World Crowned

No, that's not Ivanka Trump.

A Siberian woman bearing an extreme resemblance to Donald-spawn, Ivanka Trump, has been crowned Miss World. Ksenia Sukhinova, a 21-year-old Russian student, beat out 109 other beauties in a telecast that was watched by over one billion people around the world.

One billion people watched the Miss World contest? Really, world, really? A billion of you tuned in to see a competition whose main rivals are Miss Universe and Miss Earth.

Is it us, or do all these pageants sound like characters cut from the original Heroes scripts? Coming next fall: Miss Archipelago. "See how she navigates between islands in 4 inch stilettos!"

The lovely Ksenia rose to global domination by beating out Trinidad and Tobago's Gabrielle Walcott and India's Parvathy Omanakuttan.

They will now be duking it out for the role of head server at Hooters.