Victoria's Secret Wants You to Have Spider Legs
The attack of the 50-foot pin up...
While randomly surfing last night (yes, for some lacy drawers), I stumbled upon the most disturbing array of Photoshopped nightmares I've ever seen. Rather than just the smoothing/toning/shining effect typically employed in the service of making ladies more attractive, Victoria's Secret has apparently decided that to make a woman "pin up" quality for their Sexy Little Things line, she must either be 8-foot tall and/or have completely no resemblance to human proportion. Witness:
Image A: This woman has no musculature to speak of. There is thin, then there is emaciated. When your knee provides the only definition on your frame, that is frightening.
Image B: This lady's rear is entirely pointy from an overzealous 'shop-job. In an effort to remove any unsightly bumps (aka roundness) from her rear, they have managed to make a posterior so sharp it could cut glass. Or hose. Whatever.
Image C: This one is pretty normal, until you notice she has NO THIGHS. What in the fresh hell Vickies? It actually appears that as the photo ends, her thighs start to go convex.
I get what Secrets is trying to do with this line. They are trying to sell the whole idea of the Vargas pin up girl. But as our other pictures demonstrate, they are failing miserably. Even though they are idealized versions of the female form, Vargas' pin ups are successful because they look a lot like real ladies. The ballerina (above) has actual muscle tone (and a head, which the disembodied legs of Victoria's Secrets lack). The lady with the fetching green parrot has marks where her garters and stockings press into her actual flesh.
Rather than pay actual homage to the stylized idea of feminine, which they seem to have no problem with in whatever else they try to do with the Sexy line of lingerie, the company has decided to create these horrifically treated images of painfully thin legs, stretched to unbelievable dimensions.
It's frightening, even more so than their scary "dogs on our panties are sexy" campaign.
What do you think?
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