ATTN: Lady GaGa - Control-Top Hose Aren't Pants

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS??

At least Xtina wears pants... sometimes...

Listen, I love shapely gams as much as the next chick, and I really appreciate a pop starlet taking the time to embrace the wacky, but Lady GaGa has gone too far.

I saw this image last night in our photo database and actually approved. You see, Lady GaGa had managed to replace her hair-bow (which was frankly a little terrifying) with a pleather bow. It was an improvement, even if she did forget her pants again.

But then I downloaded the pic and saw the truth in horrible high resolution.

She. Is. Wearing. Control-top. Hose.

What in the fresh hell Lady GaGa? There's wacky, and then there's just tacky. And guess where this little stunt lands you?

The Lady pleads her case.

Perhaps the Lady suffers from the rare, but fatal, Bai Ling Disorder. Sufferers of Bai Ling Disorder are afflicted with an uncontrollable urge to wear lingerie as outerwear, experiment with dangerous hair and makeup combinations, and essentially are famous for suspect reasons. In GaGa's case, she makes club music that pales in comparison with something like Girl Talk or Scissor Sisters for pure danceability.

So Lady, please. I beg you. Put on pants. Or rock the leotard thing alone. Or invest in some sheer hose that don't have the Mad Men outline of support. You don't even need the support, your body is fierce. Just don't do this again - my eyeballs thank you.