Barney's Playbook: Lorenzo von Matterhorn

'How I Met Your Mother' Offers Pickup Artist Playbook

To all the guys out there trying to pickup girls — look no further than How I Met Your Mother. The secrets to Barney Stinson's womanizing ways were revealed in last night's episode, giving us Barney's legendary "Playbook."

Mr. Stinson, who has recently undergone a breakup with the only woman he take's seriously, decides to go on rampage through the dating scene. He eventually describes his secret weapon: the storied "Playbook," a collection of playboy/con-artist routines designed to win over women.

Among the techniques described was the "Don't Drink That," where Barney tells a woman not to sip her drink because he saw another man slip something into it, and then she swoons over the valiant protection he's given her.

Then there's the "He's Not Coming," which finds Barney searching the observation deck of the Empire State Building for women waiting for their lovers. He utters the phrase and reaps the benefits. Then there's the one where Barney tells a woman "My Penis Grants Wishes," but only if she rubs it hard enough.

But probably the most classic technique from Barney's playbook is the enigma of "Lorenzo von Matterhorn." This con involves quite a bit more work, and finds Barney introducing himself to a young woman as the mysterious Lorenzo von Matterhorn. This leaves the woman curious to find out more, and when she searches for his name on the internet she finds a number of websites (predesigned by Barney) that idolize the man as a billionaire explorer with a large man-organ.

So if you're in the business of avoiding pickup artists, take note of Barney's top tricks. We're guessing you'll run into a few next time at the bar.