Cops, cons, and chicks in theaters this weekend.

September is usually the film industry's bleh-boring-pull-from-the-back-of-the-closet transition season. But Brad Pitt as a hairspray and sweatband-devoted gym instructor in Burn After Reading? That's opening night movie going, for sure.

Hardbodied Hardheads
Pitt and Frances McDormand play lycra-loving gym employees who come across a CD containing the memoirs of a CIA agent. Like all good capitalists they attempt to sell it. Blackmail ensues, people start sleeping with people they shouldn't, Brad gets punched, and George Clooney flounders as a desperate, philandering idiot. It's the Coen brothers so we expect some effed up, darkly funny shiz to happen.

More Cheating, More Ladies
Because we have a cheesy "know yourself, save yourself" Oprah Winfrey adoring side, we're also shamelessly fired up about The Women. It's a remake of a 1939 film and stars just about everyone (Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Bette Midler, Jada Pinkett Smith). Any high-profile actress not asked to be in this movie should probably think about replacing her agent.

Two Legends
Al Pacino and Robert De Niro star opposite one another (for the first time ever, really) in Righteous Kill. The two heavyweights play NYC cops on the hunt for a serial killer. The interaction between the two will no doubt be impressive, but the movie? We're not so sure. 50 Cent (aka Curtis Jackson) co-stars. (Is that a plus or a minus?) We hope for the best; the Italian legends deserve this showcase pic.