Bret Michaels Invites Jennifer Aniston on Tour

I choose Aniston!

They have matching hair.

It was a sunny day in LA (when isn't it though, really?). The bees were buzzing, the breeze was blowing. Jennifer Aniston had just finished tagging her last Benjamin Button billboard when she got a call from her publicist. Good news, Jen, Bret Michaels wants to do you.

Does this mean the end of ratings juggernaut Rock of Love? Whatever will I do with myself on Sunday nights at nine o'clock?

“Bret is really crushing on Jen. He says she’s the kind of girl you can have a good time with, but can still take home to Mom,” says a friend of Michaels.

It sounds like Bret has watched Mark Wahlberg's Rock Star too many times. Watch out, Kate Hudson. Almost Famous might make you almost Bret Michael's next girlfriend.

Watch out, John. Bret is horny!

John Mayer better stop Twittering about a proposal and start getting down on bended knee. Brett Michaels might just swoop in, side-laced leather pants, hair extensions, black eyeliner and all and take his woman.

I imagine him doing a roundoff karate kick in slow motion, adding viscosity to his already jammin' fake hair. All the while saying, "Take that right in the wonderland, John Mayer! This smokin' hot chick is mine!"