Bret Michaels Weds - Rock of Love Bus Recap

Every rose has a thorn, indeed, Mr. Michaels.

Will you stay and rock my world?

Bret Michaels is a lucky man. And not for the reasons you might think. No, not because of the horde of skanks following him around in a bright pink tour bus, but because his Valtrex prescription is working.

This week really challenged Bret's blondetourage. The team of smokin' hot chicks, as Michaels would say, were given the task of taking part in a pretend wedding. Their challenge? To write wedding vows and gift the Poison front man a wedding souvenir. Cause in the immortal words of Bret Michaels, "the only way [he] can see you at [his] side, is if [he] can see you as [his] bride". I know. Deep, right?

Oh and the rhyming didn't end there. The wedding vows were chock full of poem love. I especially liked these ones:

1. We can party and have a great time, and occasionally you can hit it from behind.

2. I'd love for us to wed and I'd tear it up in bed.

And ones that didn't quite rhyme…

1. I promise to cook you the most rockin' food and to never ever, ever wear panties...

And then there was Brittanya, who decided to speak in actions, not words. She handed him her piercing and promised him he could find its rightful home when they got to be better friends. I suspect he located it later that night.

So who won the wedding challenge?

Taya - a front runner and centerfold
Brittanya - Miss Piercing
and Farrah - who upon stepping into the church apologized to God for her big boobs and painted face. (Where's my apology Farrah? I had to look at you for an entire hour!)

And how do you cap off a terribly classy wedding complete with teddies, corsets, and fishnets? A reception with a lap dance competition! Duh.

Blah, blah, blah... Elimination.

Bret pulled down the trouble makers, but after being beaten (off camera) by his producer, instead eliminated the quiet "good girls," who, upon leaving, actually said that they thought  this was Rock of Love, not Rock of F**k.

I guess these girls didn't get the hint after the VD flyers were passed out during Episode One. Either that, or they can't read...