Court Order: No Tiger Woods Nude Photos Or Videos

Tiger Woods photo courtesy Keith Allison on Flickr.

British court clamps down on UK publications.

Nothing says, "I never got naked" like a court order to proactively ban international publications from sharing philandering Tiger Woods material -- oh yeah, we can be sure something's floating around out there.

But a lawyer in Britain has filed an order to disallow British publications from publishing any material featuring Tiger Woods or his fellow subjects naked or engaging in sexual activity. Read the court's demand here, as it "prevents the publication of private and confidential information contained in the Order.... this Order is not to be taken as any admission that any such photographs exist, and in the event they do exist they may have been fabricated, altered, manipulated and/or changed to create the false appearance and impression that they are nude photographs of our client."

It goes on to block "any photographs, footage or images taken or obtained of the claimant [Tiger] naked or any naked parts of the claimant's [Tiger's] body or of him involved in any sexual activity."

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And haha! -- this is the best part: "Our client is not aware of any images and in any event he would not have consented to any such photographs being taken nor would he have consented to the dissemination or exploitation of the same."

Psha right! This kind of reminds us how Rachel Uchitel's making everyone think she's a hooker by insisting she's not a hooker.