Crappiest Albums of 2008
Save your money. Skip these albums.
As we all know, the economy is in the pooper. That means we have to cutback on luxuries like pet food, LEGO doppelgangers, and bad music. Ordinarily we’d splurge on tasteless, arthritis-inducing tunes just to see how painful music can get, but no amount of sadomasochism could make us buy these albums.
Jessica Simpson’s stinker, Do You Know, dropped off the face of the earth (aka the Billboard Top 100) in only six weeks. Producers might as well have packaged the CD on the back of a London sewer rat, because it ended up being avoided like the plague.
Baby sis Ashlee didn’t fare much better. Her album Bittersweet World left a nasty taste in music exec's mouths, selling less than 50,000 copies in its first week. As toxic as her sister's album, the effects of its radiation cloud will be felt for generations.
With 808s and Heartbreak, Kanye West tried something new. That deserves props, maybe, but he should’ve stuck to what he knows. The album sold half as well as it was expected to, and angered scores of fans with its auto-tuned vocals. Hopefully this failure will let a little helium out of Kanye's massive ego balloon.
Constipation is painful. Just ask Axl Rose. It took him almost 15 years to lay the steamy, rock turd that is Chinese Democracy. Seriously, it’s so bad that when I heard it I immediately made that Arnold face from Total Recall; you know, the one when he’s suffocating on the surface of Mars. This is no doubt the same reaction Best Buy execs had when they found out it utterly bombed.
And don't even get us started on Coldplay.
