IHOP and Handcuffs - A Day in the Life of Nicky Hilton

Where's my five dolla flap-jacks, beyotch?!

International House of Princess.

It was just another Saturday morning for Nicky Hilton. After attending a rave the night before and knocking boots with Pixar's youngest heir, the giraffe-like celebutante was craving six dollars worth of funnel-cake pancakes.

After furiously tearing apart her breakfast platter, the heiress packed up to go home, when, upon leaving, she came across a homeless person. With one swift shove, the residentially challenged one "pushed her down to the ground," while she yelled, in slow-motion, "I just wanna eat mmmmmmyyyy pancakes in peace!"

Then, after regaining her strength, she stood up and placed the 50-year-old homeless person under arrest saying, "I am placing you under citizen's arrest!"

Wow, Nicky. Where's Hooch? And really, maybe you should quit whatever it is that you're doing with your life and join the LAPD.

No really, I'm dead serious.