Jessica Simpson's Workout DVD Lawsuit

Don't you turn your back on me, young lady!

It seems even the courts are looking into her weight.

It seems that the entire universe is interested in Jessica Simpson's weight: present, past, and future. At question now is how exactly she fit into her Daisy Dukes back in 2005.

It seems like back in '05, Jess signed up for a multi-million dollar contract to star in a DVD released by fitness company Speedfit, but then blocked the release of the video by not approving the final product. Speedfit's owner, Alex Astilean, sued her last year and, when she wouldn't settle, sued her manager/daddy, Joe Simpson.

The world wonders what mysteries that tape holds. What if Jessica knows the secrets of eating four buckets of double-fried chicken wings while staying slim, and just won't give up the goods? The world deserves to know!

Page Six is reporting that the $10 million suit is going nowhere though, so us normal dames may have to be content wallowing in self-hatred after consuming a metric ton of greasy wings. Thanks a lot Jess, after all the nice things we said about you!