John Mayer Is Going To The Oscars

Hi, guys. I'm dating Jennifer Aniston. She's famous.

He's a good boyfriend.

In news that makes me want to barf, John Mayer will be escorting Jen Aniston to the Oscars. It's not so much the escorting that makes me sick as the fact that he has to be so vocal about it. John, you don't have to send out a press release. Just go, smile, and be done with it.

But no, as we've come to learn, John has a love affair with the media. When he's not proclaiming his relationship status with Jen, he's publicly dumping her - sometimes all in the same week. I wouldn't be surprised if he got down on one knee while chatting with Ryan Seacrest. You know, because he loves Jen so much and stuff.

Rumor has it that Jen will be a presenter at the ceremony (why else would she be there?). Of course, everyone is in a tizzy over whether she'll have a run in with Brangelina. Guys, the world might just end if that happens. I'm predicting a thunderous boom and flying monkeys and then darkness. When the dust settles, only Ryan Seacrest will survive. And he'll report everything live, of course.

Can't wait for Sunday!