John Mayer Terrified By Sleeping With Jennifer Aniston

Mayer, seen fleeing Aniston's house in abject horror.

Her body might be a wonderland, but her house is pure terror...

John Mayer taped Monday's Ellen today, and revealed shocking details about his "sleepovers" at ladyfriend Jennifer Aniston's house. It's disturbing enough to hear that these two unengaged lovebirds are having pre-marital slumber parties, but could there be something else that's even more terrifying?

It turns out that Jen's house is a veritable house of horrors. Nothing is as it should be, and the lighting system that powers the $15 million mansion is so elaborate and intense, it causes Mayer profuse anxiety. He says:

"There is no normal thing in the Aniston house. You won't find a light switch. The light switch is not antiquated, there is a six button light panel. It does everything.

The top button is on and the button right below that one seems to be an air horn so in the middle of the night it very difficult," he revealed. "I just want a switch that glows orange. Just give me a switch that glow orange and I can swing my arm up (and turn on the light). I don't want a smart home."

What he sees every morning before Jen puts her makeup on.

We feel you, John. We all are terrified at the idea of being alone in Jennifer Aniston's house. Who knows what sort of desperate succubae lurk around every corner? It's possible that she's booby trapped the entire place in an elaborate scheme to get you to propose. Be afraid, be very afraid.

YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER

And why was he going on Ellen anyway? The man doesn't have a new album coming out, so has Jen just enlisted him as part of her He's Just Not That Into You press tour? Whipped, I tells ya, whipped!