Madonna Paying $2.7 Mill For Jesus' NYC Flat

Madonna doesn't want Jesus at her place with the kids, so this solution should do.

A new report reveals that Madonna has put Jesus Luz in charge of his own apartment hunt in New York City. While this may seem a dream come true for any 23-year-old model boy, Madonna has in fact set forth some stipulations.

First, Jesus has just shy of $3 million to work with. Reportedly Madonna's flat on Manhattan's upper-crusty Upper East Side weighs in at a hefty $40 million, so Jesus' digs will be much more modest. Because, you know, when you think Madonna's boyfriend, you think modest.

Also, Madonna insists the place be close to hers. Why the need for geographical proximity on an island so small? So that Jesus is just a walk of shame away.

Finally, the property will be in Jesus' name. Madonna can't be bothered with a $3 million rat trap on the Upper East Side. She's asked her real estate agents to find Jesus a pad, put his name on the contract, and be done with it. All this for being born Brazilian with blue eyes.

The best part of the story, we think, is that Madonna's motive for the purchase is that she feels bringing Jesus into her home will crowd her kids' lives. The Sun in Britain put it pricelessly: "There was no room at the inn for Jesus."

It's brilliant.

Meanwhile poor Guy Ritchie sits pining for Madonna, as he was quoted earlier this week saying, "I still love her." Devastating. Meanwhile Madonna's moving on with life and love, touching her lucky star wand not just on Jesus Luz, but on all the kids in her life. This week we learned 13-year-old Lourdes wants to be an actress -- read about it here.