Mickey Mouse Gets Laid Off

"It's ok, Minnie. We'll get by..."

It's doom for toons.

In These Economic Times, it seems everyone has to cut back. The same goes for Disney, who recently announced they too would be making some layoffs. In order to help out, we thought we'd suggest some new jobs for those unlucky cartoon characters.

Jessica Rabbit

With those curves, everyone knows what Jessica would be good at. But then she would wear a giant belt and people would call her fat and we would have to write about it for 3 months straight.

Pongo (101 Dalmations)

With the pups all grown and off to college, Pongo can finally pursue his lifelong dream of racing in the Tour De France. He's currently training in Japan.

Mickey Mouse

There's no way Dizz would fire their number one, but this doesn't mean Mick won't have to take on some extra responsibilities. Look for him to drive the trams, pilot that ugly little submarine and jump out like a yeti on the matterhorn ride.

It's a small craps game, after all...

Ariel (Little Mermaid)

This fishy princess was pretty much doomed to anonymity when she sprouted legs and became a Dutch housewife. To make ends meet, she'll open a meat-free seafood restaurant for vagabond vegetarians.

King Louie (The Jungle Book)

While the market may not be quite right for ape stars right now, Louie can use his royal standing to at least avoid bankruptcy. Banana peelers are always in demand, so there's some hope.

Winnie the Pooh

It's back to the grind for Pooh, and that means no more lounging around, stealing people's honey. Jugs of cough syrup will have to do until the economy gets better.