Pick Up Lines, a Brief Narrative

They can be all over the map:

The corny.

The pickup line: the most classic and cliched way to break the ice, is in many ways a cherished tradition. Generations of men and women have used (or heard) every line in the book. The question, of course, is do they work? Have they ever worked? It's possible that they are so corny that they have come full circle to being cool again, or maybe they're just corny.

It really depends; some people love them, some people hate them, and the only way to tell is trial and error.

Let's pretend that you're at a party, surrounded by a lot of lovely people. You decide to try some out.

"Are you tired? Because you've been running through my dreams all night."

Eh? Too cheezy?

"Are you wearing space pants? Because your butt is out of this world."

Back off? Too Sleezy?

"Are you a super mushroom? Because you just made me grow."

Not cool? Too Geeky?

"Have you ever seen the inside of a Buick's trunk before?"

Whoa...a little Worrying?

"If I was a DNA protein, I'd be Heliocase so I could unzip your jeans."

No? Not Down With Homeboy Stevie Hawking?...

"I'm not drunk, I'm intoxicated by you."

Just a Tad Creepy?

"You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, or you'll set the carpet on fire."

Standing on Tile? You lose!

"F*** me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?"

Woah, way to go stud. That was your chemistry TA. She's already giving you one F, you're not getting another.

"Someone must have shot you with a phaser set to ‘stunning.'"

No go: she's a Twilight fan, not a Trekkie.

You're starting to lose hope. Figuring that you have nothing to lose, you go for the gusto on your last attempt.

"So what's your name?"

Woah. It worked. Congratulations, you've just discovered the ultimate pickup line: Conversation.

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