Tony Romo is a jerk.

Whip cream and strawberries fix everything.

Jessica Simpson has had it rough lately. First there was Weight-Gate 2008, then she lost her record contract, and then she got dumped by her football star boyfriend on the night before her birthday. Still, the hits keep coming. Word is that on one fight-fueled evening, Tony Romo left Simpson alone and crying in an IHOP parking lot.

According to the National Enquirer, one of the country's most reputable newspapers, Romo and Simpson got into a spat one night a few weeks before the break-up, and he ended up kicking her out at an International House of Pancakes parking lot.

There, of course, she proceeded to "cry her eyes out" while he sped away.

Now, if this story is true, it would go a long way to explaining Simpson's rumored weight issues. Of course she's going to stuff her face with Mickey Mouse shaped flapjacks when a boyfriend humiliates her. Tasty, cartoonish food makes everyone feel better.

And if he had dropped her off at Fresh Choice or something it would be a completely different story.

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If that's the case, if Romo can't even think ahead enough to know that the IHOP is the last place you should ever leave a screaming, insecure girlfriend, then how is he ever going to lead a football team to the Super Bowl?

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